Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, Benching: Modern Dating Terms You Need to Know
Welcome to the world of modern dating, where communication isn’t just about emojis and DMs, it’s a whole new language. A language full of confusing terms that could make anyone’s head spin. Whether you’re a seasoned dater, a newbie to the online world, or just someone trying to make sense of it all, understanding these buzzwords is essential to surviving the chaotic dating jungle. π¦
So, buckle up because we’re about to decode the most popular dating terms that are taking over your social feeds and maybe even your heart (or lack thereof).
1. Ghosting: The Vanishing Act of Modern Dating π»
Let's start with the big one: Ghosting. This term is so widely used that it has officially entered the Oxford Dictionary. So what exactly is ghosting?
The Ghosting Definition:
Ghosting happens when someone you’ve been talking to or dating just… disappears. No warning. No explanation. Just poof — like they were never there. They stop responding to your texts, DMs, calls, and even those innocent “Hey, are you alive?” follow-ups.
Why Ghosting Happens:
-
They lost interest but don’t know how to say it.
-
They’ve found someone else and want to avoid confrontation.
-
Or, they might just enjoy the thrill of being mysterious (spoiler alert: it’s not thrilling, it’s rude).
How to Handle It:
If you’ve been ghosted, it’s time to get your self-respect on. Don’t go chasing ghosts. Block them, move on, and remember: ghosting says way more about them than it does about you. π
2. Breadcrumbing: The Art of Leading Someone On π
You’re walking along in life, doing your thing, when suddenly, you get a random text from someone you’ve been chatting with off and on. It’s just a quick, vague “Hey, how’s it going?” No real conversation follows, and you’re left wondering, “Is this person interested, or am I just a convenient distraction?”
This, my friends, is Breadcrumbing. It's the act of sending out just enough attention or affection to keep someone interested, without actually putting in any real effort.
The Breadcrumbing Definition:
Breadcrumbing is like throwing a few crumbs of attention to keep someone around but not actually making any commitment. It’s often used by people who want the validation of someone’s interest without being in a real relationship. Think of it as a lazy approach to dating. π₯±
Why Breadcrumbing Happens:
-
They like the attention, but aren’t ready for a relationship.
-
They want to keep their options open.
-
They enjoy the ego boost from having someone “waiting” for them.
How to Handle It:
If someone is breadcrumbing you, it’s time to take control of the situation. Call them out (nicely, of course) or simply walk away. You deserve someone who’s willing to put in more than a few crumbs.
3. Benching: You’re Not a Starter, But You’re Not Completely Out of the Game Either ⚽
Benching is like being a backup player in the dating world. You’re not the first choice, but they’re not entirely willing to let you go just yet.
The Benching Definition:
Benching happens when someone keeps you on the sidelines. They don’t want to fully commit, but they also don’t want you to move on. They might text you here and there, but never take things to the next level.
You might get a message once every week or two, just enough to keep you hanging on, but not enough to actually build a real connection.
Why Benching Happens:
-
They have someone they’re more interested in, but want to keep you as a backup.
-
They enjoy the attention but don’t want a serious relationship.
-
They’re unsure about you and prefer to keep their options open.
How to Handle It:
Being benched is frustrating because you’re stuck in dating limbo. If you notice you're being benched, it’s time to either have a conversation about the direction of the relationship or pull the plug. Don’t settle for being second string in someone’s dating game.
4. Submarining: The Return of the Ghost π
Ah, Submarining — the plot twist you never saw coming. Just when you thought someone had ghosted you for good, they resurface. They come back as though nothing ever happened, and all those unanswered messages are suddenly forgotten.
The Submarining Definition:
Submarining is when someone who ghosted you reappears out of the blue, acting like everything is fine and they never disappeared. It's the ghosting but with an inconvenient return, like a submarine surfacing after lurking below the surface for weeks.
Why Submarining Happens:
-
They’ve been doing their own thing, and now they’re back for attention.
-
They were testing the waters to see if you'd still be interested after their disappearance.
-
They didn’t want to let go but didn’t have the courage to say it.
How to Handle It:
If they’ve disappeared without a trace and suddenly come back, don’t just accept them back like nothing happened. Ask them where they went. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries — you’re worth more than being a backup plan. π
5. Cushioning: The Soft Landing for When Things Go South π΄
Cushioning is a subtle way of keeping your options open while still dating someone. It’s like having a backup relationship or safety net — just in case the one you’re in doesn’t work out.
The Cushioning Definition:
Cushioning happens when someone keeps a few other potential options “in the wings” while still dating you. They may flirt with others, keep their dating apps active, or maintain other romantic connections. It’s a way to soften the blow of an impending breakup or prepare for one in advance.
Why Cushioning Happens:
-
They’re not sure about you and want to have alternatives.
-
They want to hedge their bets just in case the current relationship doesn’t work out.
-
They’re not emotionally committed and want to keep things casual.
How to Handle It:
Cushioning is a serious red flag. If you feel like you’re being used as a backup, it’s time to have an honest conversation with your partner. If they’re serious about you, they won’t need a “cushion” for comfort. Don’t settle for being a “just in case” option.
6. Zombieing: The Return of the Ghost (Again) π§
Zombieing is similar to submarining, but with more dramatic flair. It's when someone who ghosted you previously comes back with no apology, no explanation, just a casual message like "Hey, how have you been?"
The Zombieing Definition:
Zombieing is like ghosting, but they don’t just resurface — they’re back with a vengeance! They text you after weeks or months, acting like nothing ever happened. It’s like they’ve risen from the dead to haunt your inbox once more.
Why Zombieing Happens:
-
They feel like they can just come back into your life without consequences.
-
They want to see if you’ll still be available.
-
They were busy with someone else and now need attention.
How to Handle It:
Zombieing is one of the most frustrating forms of ghosting because it can leave you feeling confused and unsure of where you stand. If they’ve truly "zombied" you, decide if you want to give them a second chance or if you’d rather leave them in the graveyard of bad dating decisions.
Final Thoughts: Love Is Messy, But You Don’t Have to Be π€
As much as we’d love for dating to be straightforward and easy, modern relationships are filled with complexities, red flags, and unfortunately, a few ghostly encounters. Understanding terms like ghosting, breadcrumbing, and benching can help you navigate the dating world with a bit more clarity — and a lot more self-respect.
The most important thing? Know your worth. Whether someone is ghosting, benching, or cushioning you, always remember that you deserve a relationship where you're treated with respect and care. And if someone’s behavior doesn’t align with that, it’s totally okay to move on and find something better.
So, don’t let these modern dating terms scare you. Armed with knowledge, you can make sure you never get stuck in the “waiting game” or fall victim to the latest trends. Keep your heart open and your standards high — the right person is out there, and they won’t ghost you.
Comments
Post a Comment